7610

fucks up yet again.

6/10 people

think im from ACS.

the auntie whom i ordered spaghetti carbo thought i was from AC.
The surveyor once asked me if I was AC.
Some people in poly thought i was from AC.
The gay who tried to befriend opening line was, "hey are from ACJC?"

I may talk, sound or look like a ACSian. But Im not! Dammit. Nearly half of the IJ teachers thought i was a AC boy.

The date

I have to admit i was quite disappointed. I didnt screw it up, the mood, place was perfect. The disappointment stemmed from the date herself.

She really looked pleasant, and i was to an extend physically attracted to her. But what lied beneath was truely a letdown.

She's probably someone who still stucked in the lates 90's era; where the SNAGs are hot, Airforce guys are really cool and handsome, a guy has to be at her beck&call, the guy has to be older, guys must be willing to give up the moon for her. She's a very studious girl; she knows her priorities, she studies hard, really into CCAs and any parent whose daughter had a report card like hers would have been proud.

The thing about bookworms is they never go out to socialise and it takes a toll on them in the EQ department. And yes after a while, they get desperate and want to meet men. She's exactly like that, the kind of girl who wants to have a really fairy tale love chapter in her life.

Fast forward to reality, come on. Thats not possible in a materialistic and meritocracy society like Singapore whose basis is elitism. Its 2006 and socially, she's lagging by 7 to 9 years behind it. I really do like her but she and I probably in two different worlds no matter how hard I try to accept certain aspects.

The one barrier between her and me is her mentality towards love and her naviety to all things love. Its something that im not able to accept. Yes im willing to accept everything except that. She kinda played a girlfriend role that night and I was let onto a glimpse on what its like to be her boyfriend, and its not something i'll probably able to withstand long term. I said long term because I factored in the honeymoon period. When its honeymoon period, everything goes even if she's a bitch. Its a fact.

Not that she was a bitch, but she was very whiney when you dont reply her or you dont do what she wants you to do. Her threshold for pain is ZERO. A little elbow on me and she's like in pain. We got a little cosy but I didnt take advantage of her. I was a really true gentleman that night. The closest i went was putting my hands around her waist and holding her hand at times. It was a nice feeling but its not meant to be.

It all justifies.

Luck does play a part. You may be brilliant or even dumb, but when Lady Luck starts favouring you, even that fella you always thought who was a loser may end up in a much better state than you are.

Betting; you can ride on statistics, by logic, you never lose. But when bad luck comes into play, the streaks you bet opposite can even go further than your lil brother can go at full length!

Job; you may have the same qualification as your peer, but you never get shortlisted for the vacant job that your peer is doing. And you know what? That peer may even know nuts to begin with!

Love; if luck runs out at a rate faster than you can pee, then you'll probably end up meeting girls not worthy of your attention despite your already lowered standards. Wait if its that bad, even the foreign bride wouldnt want your S$10k!

On a last note? You can do whatever you want, but if luck wants to thwart you, you might as well let down that pants of yours and let it fug your arse. Perhaps you'll see a change of fortune after a sodomy session.

Questions probably even God cant answer:

1. Why am I attracted to dumb fucks?
2. Why did I ask a dumb fuck out?
3. If attraction laws apply, am I a smart fuck?

Worthy mentions of the week:

Ludwig sent me a postcard. Pretty corny especially the drawing of that soccer ball ROFL. He's probably getting jiggy with his really hot room-mates as I blog.

Iggy SMSed me, "day of reckoning is here. course starts 31st July." He's apprehensive about being a teacher. So I told him, have fun with the babes first, prospects take the back seat. And he was like, "YEA YEA haha." TIKO BASTARD! HAHAHA

Fab went OCS. And he smsed me saying it was boring. Well its not boring when you're in the mud, sleeping outdoors while im in my bed cozing up to my bolster, covered with kilts in an air conditioned room!

Liverpool trashed birmingham 7-0. Good for the kop, but u're still going to finish behind man u in the league trophyless. Remember, the red devils pwnz joo!

What do you call someone who's addicted to blogging? Blogpho. A deriative I coined from nympho. Elsa falls into both categories anyway.

I wonder how friday's going to turn out. She's very excited and looking forward to it. I think she likes me, and i think im reciprocating it. Its all better than Chris**** urgh; virgin bitch! Its really bad, coz even old man Paul wouldnt want to fuck her too! So there!

School's boring.

I thought this was damn funny. Someone in the forums asked for your EPL dream team based on the 4-4-2 formation. And this fella gave his two cents:

david james


moritz volz - titus bramble - jean alain boumsong - djimi traore


luis garcia - liam miller - eric djemba djemba - belozoglu emre


peter crouch - morientes


Subs : roy carroll , djibril cisse , sol campbell , lee bowyer , maniche



Thats aint dream team, its a manager's nightmare lineup! HAHA

I couldnt resist it ...

And so i dropped an email to bryan chung that I think he's a fag, and when i read his site, its smacks of some lil' small boy in a 22 year old frame. And it totally disgusts me since 2002, when i chanced upon it.

Famous for being a xiao mei mei stalker in hwz forums. All his female friends are like 4-7 years younger, well its not really a problem, but these friends of him are like in secondary school?! And for someone his age at 22. Hello? Oh come on man...

Apparently he reads Teen magazine,(What the fuck? Isnt that targetted for 13-18 age group? I mean yo, he's 22.), cam whore; He dedicated a gallery of his xiao mei mei friends and from the looks and his path chosen wise, perfectly epitomises a good for nothing. A very surprising fact to note that he is very pious. Not that I care, but its good to laugh at his 15 year old demeanour and his gay kiddy looking blog.

I thank god, that I never got to know him, because he'll rank first on my gay faggot list.

Enough said. I present you his blog - http://www.bryanchung.per.sg/

Bitch of the week

First and unprecedented to mark yang in IJ goes to Ms TPY. Demanding and not even a word of thanks. Even if there was, you could feel the tint of insincerity in it.

Its pretty unlikely because of PMS, because based on my estimation, she's probably late 40s or early50s, so what now? Menstruation? Yea like fuck no, hello the more apt one would be menop-a-u-s-e. I believe the so called 'bad blood' we had started way back when i reformatted that bloody slow aging compaq. It was horrendous to begin with because after that horrid format, her laptop was infected with virus. Well as the normal stimulus felt to any normal being was "WTF?!". And it wasnt even connected to the LAN!

With that said, I couldnt waste anymore time redoing; took me blinkin 2 hours. I returned that laptop offering my sincere apologies. And somehow, there was an IT savvy person in her household who could reformat for her. So well, thats that.

Then the real blood started boiling yesterday, when she questioned me why I couldnt issue her a new laptop. The excuse I gave was, "I'm sorting out the inventory currently, so as of now, all loaning of IT equipment would be on hold." With the boldness of the lion, she retorted back, telling me off that it was just a simple matter of giving her the laptop and signing the loan form.

Well miss Tan aka virgin hag, when equipment are not properly accounted for, no fool will permit any outgoing movement of any. Its the basic unspoken rule of logistics. Where i do not deny, indeed it is as easy as your first three alphabets for the consumer side, inventory accountability and management's a bitch especially when it's in a mess. In fact, any seasoned logistic fellow will attest to that.

Apparently starters on the menu wasnt enough for me, I got nicely served by an entree dished by her. This time, it was the installation of the chinese software. I mean what's wrong with Hanvision? People get spoilt all the time, and mandarin bitches like her aint no exception. She then asks me to install some software that the mandarin department bought. Well the IFASS* form paid by the school showed otherwise. To sum up, with that gay ass software, it is able to convert your chinese speech into words. If you wondered that limitations stops there, well... NO! It too is able to convert the strokes you 'write' on the pad. Softwares like this takes at least 15mins to install, and to be honest, I have more important tasks at hand. So i just gave her the liberty to install with administrator access.

Then her new laptop starts to fuck up, (Yes i finally decided to issue it to her to keep that cheebye mouth of her SHUT as Paul likes to put it always). The screen started to fade in and out upon moving the mouse cursor. After a little prognosis, only her personal account had this problem whereas the others were normal. Talk about jinxed. She started stuffing her own deductions on me, telling me, its probably the Hanvision that I installed, which invoked a conflict with her other chinese software.

Well like yo, smarty pants. If there was a conflict with the softwares, all the accounts in the laptop would have had the same teething problem and its obviously some transfer or some itchy fingers of messing around with administrator access that screwed it up. So I just told her, I would look into it later while attending to another teacher. An hour later, she comes back and starts creeping on to me and kept quizzing me why her laptop was in such a state. I gave her my side of the conclusion and she kept arguing it wasnt the case. For the nth time, I told her, I would look into it. And when i finally attended to her, I realised she deleted that account. Ooh, my blood really boiled! I mean firstly who are you to decide whether to delete that account? Hello, Im the administrator and I decide whats the best course of action, and not you hag! I mean when the computers fuck up, who solves them, certainly aint you smart aleck, its ME dammit.

She started saying it wasnt a big deal because you can re add a user in the user account. Well, Ms-you-think-you-know-it-all, when your computer is registered to the network, you are restricted from adding any more users locally.

If I thought that was the last I heard from her, she comes to me today while I was setting some profiling on the computers, telling me if I installed the chinese capability on the machines. I said no, and then she started questioning me and tells me that I should install it so that the students can write in chinese. Goodness, she even had the CHEEK to tell me that its easy to add and even commanded me what to do to get that chinese aspect installed. She said she was part of the IT department and that she has a say on what should be installed and what not.

Well firstly Miss Tan, a big fuck you to you. I do not take orders from you, I only take orders from the big 4 and Janny(My HOD). And in fact, never once they have bossed me around. Yes, on the contrary, they all love me especially Mrs Mathews/Mrs Eugenia Wee:). They have absolute trust in me, and always seeking a second opinion from me regarding IT matters. If I ever did take an order from anybody else, it's purely goodwill on my part and not an entitlement for anyone.

Doesnt mean you're a lil' tech savvy and have a thing for customisation of your personal PC, warrants the right that you think you know what's good for the system. Fancy talking big in front of the IT guy, I mean, just TRY doing my role for one day, I bet you'll be peeing in your smelly over-sized loosed cotton dulled coloured panties when shit happens.

I handle inventory, troubleshooting of pepetually everything from the damn hardware to your software to the network to server. On top of this, I have to liase with the main network engineers, MOE officers and HP to make sure everything is in order and running in accordance to standards.

And so again, fuck you to you again, because when you had problems, I was the one who solved them, not you. I know my stuff, you dont. Thats the difference, so shut the fuck up next time.

Total Coolness

So what do you get from a christian girl school? Quite the opposite from a lets say a percieved generalisation.

You just get a bunch of highly charged testerones-laded middle aged guys. Imaging being suppressed sexually and one day its just explodes. ROARRR. You get the drift...

The cast:

1. Rashid. This melayu joker talks more cock than you can ever imagine. Besides alerting me to the potential sugar mummies in IJ... *ahem coughs* Joe *coughs* Teo... to asking me "Eh where the chee hong kia aka Paul?" to dumb silly stories on his encounters with students with BO LOL.

2. Hamdan. This bugger works hand in hand with Rashid. Always acting saint haha, and always accsusing me of having an affair with Joe Teo.

3. Paul Tan. One hell of a nice guy lah. Telling me stories of his younger days on how many girls he did with including malay, indian. Always buying me lunch and whenever I try to return the favour, an incident of occurance ratio 3 : 5 will end up as of the following; "Mark ah, you want to treat me, your money better be more than mine", out comes his stacks of $50 versus my few red dollar notes -_-.

4. Francis. Biggest sinner. Do not be fooled by his soft spokenness and his piousness. If there's something to offset it, it is his wild imagination of his dream fantasy with Annabel Chow. Always smoking the teachers and directing to them to me. Notable hyperboles include, "the laptop LCD screen's frequency differs from the projector, thats why cannot display."

One word - Lanjiao!

However I still love them :)

On a side note, the christine saga has died. It did give me some surreal peace; the job workload disrupted it. She claims she's attached with a teacher. A list of male farts comes to my mind - Alvin? Nah, he's into Stella. Teh? Old enough to be daddy. Timothy? Married. Bernard? Maybe. Stanley? Ranks the same as Teh.

Whats left? Only for me to call her bluff. Starrain? Big Cannon Fairy is more apt. ROFL

ps: Starrain's Christine's pseudonym/nick, Big cannon Fairy is the English translated of the famous hokkien dialect Dua Pao Xian.